sábado, 18 de outubro de 2008

Bloke on Bloke (revisited)

Para aqueles que não tiveram a oportunidade de conhecer essa fascinante saga, publicada tempos atrás nos circulos Orkutianos, que causou furor entre alguns e desgosto em outros.

Em tempo: Todo muso também tem em quem se inspirar, Oh Lord Achilles, so much to answer for! ;)


Chapter one: Bloke on Bloke

The clone war has just begun, after a brief period of silence the mothership of blokedom has been contacted by its rivals from the land down below, which over the years of absence of the very loyal and true king Blue Bloke the first, had tried to spread confusion amidst its peers and even before the very last virgin on Earth promised to the king. The rivals use malicious tricks and even adopt the King's mannerisms and dazzling style, one should say, unsuccessfully. The voice however could never match the King's one, resembling more the typical voice of the noisy Hofty people from the tam tam world. News of this historical encouter to follow...

Chapter two: It`s a man's world

- Revenge!!: - Cried Lord Michael, a devoted knight to the king’s cause, as the mothership collapsed in fury barely awaiting momentum to smash the bloody clones.
- Nay Michael said Blue Bloke "the merciful", let no innocent blood be shed!
- But sire...
- These words like daggers enter in my ears. No more, sweet Michael.

Blue Bloke stands up: - Milords, the years of oblivion and shame shall come to an end to-night and I no fear should carry in my heart for God’s arm strike with me! God be wi’ you, princes all; I’ll to my charge: If we no more meet till we meet in heaven, and we shall meet milords for there is justice high above, if destiny should claim one’s life, let not be mine! Fare thee well friends!: -Said Blue Bloke “the brave”.

The Curtain falls


Chapter three: The field of battle

Scenery: Dark street outside the walls, somewhere in the old arab quarter

There was nor breeze neither sound in the air that night, while the exiled King defiantly walked alone to match its rivals. Although his heart was serene, he was determined to eradicate any sign of the clone era from the surface of the earth and to reaffirm his power. There’s more to be a King then what was written in books you know…but not much more.

There was no time for reactions as the clone and its bunch of hoodlums were caught by surprise as the King fast approached the group.

- O diable! O seigneur! le jour est perdu! tout est perdu!: Cried one of the hoodlums, who actually behaved more in the fashion of a bunch of sissies, rather struck by the old King’s charm.

As their eyes encountered, the two blokes measured each other contemplating the extension of their powers trying to anticipate what the next move would be.

- Tell me, young boy, do you know what I am and what involves trying to be me? Can you see your face portrayed in this old face of mine? Answer me! : - said the King.

The clone collapses down: - No sire, for the eye sees not itself in the dark, I thought if only I could evoke your glory.

- And it is very much lamented, kiddo, that you have no access to such mirror as it would turn your hidden kindness into your eye.

- Piety milord! : - said the clone. - I am the heir of nothing in particular, I want to be human and to be loved just like everybody else does!

- O perdurable shame! Let’s stab ourselves or become nuns!: said the two hoodlums in a disgusting affected way.

- A good soul cannot be the shadow of a villain my boy: - said the king. - I was wrong about you…you have no idea what it means to be me!

Chapter four: I won't share you

As our story continues, the King Blue Bloke “the vain” realises the clone war did not represent any danger to blokedom or to his reputation and even that the very master clone himself had nothing but admiration to the extent of his carreer, or in other words for a formidable life full of many interesting vices and very few virtues that had made our King memorable in the private circles. The last dialogue of our saga is said to have happened like this:

Master clone - Oh sire, will nature make a man of me yet? Will you provide me all the knowledge I need?
King - Fifteen minutes with you my child, well, I wouldn't say no
Master clone – Please, please, please let me get what I want
King – I can resist anything but temptation
Master clone – See, the sea wants to take me, The knife wants to slit me, do you think you can help me ?
King – I crack the whip and you skip but you deserve it
Master clone – Sing me to sleep, I don't want to wake up on my own anymore
King - I think I can help you get through your exams
Master clone – Your youth may be gone but you're still a young man
King – Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to. So If there's something you'd like to try, ask me – I won’t say no – how could I?
Master clone - But to you I was faceless, I was fawning, I was boring, just a child from those ugly new houses, who could never begin to know, who could never really know...
King – Sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed
Master clone – Oh, heaven knows I am miserable now
King - You must learn one more thing child, there is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about
Master clone – Is the queen dead milord?
King – Loud loutish lover treat her kindly, although she needs you more than she loves you
Master clone - Oh, people said that you were virtually dead, and they were so wrong...
King - So let's go where we're wanted and I meet you at the cemetry gates, Keats and Yeats are on your side but you lose 'cause weird lover Wilde is on mine
Master clone - Sure !

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